Definitely, Maybe in Love Read online

  “Why did you unplug?” I asked.

  “I was checking my damn phone every two seconds, hoping to hear from you. After a few days of nothing, I figured I had my answer, and I couldn’t stand it.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, touching his face. “I wanted to call you. I guess we’re pretty pathetic at the whole communication thing.”

  “Not anymore,” he said. “First thing tomorrow, I’ll give you a list of every number and address I have.”

  “Your first gift to me,” I said with a smile. “I’ll cherish it always.”

  Henry laughed softly then gazed off toward the mountains. “Did you know this is the first?” He paused, as if he didn’t like the way that sounded. “What I mean is, I’ve never had a woman here with me, not since I moved away to college. You’re my first.”

  “I’m honored,” I said, nuzzling the side of his neck. He pulled me onto his lap so my legs were straddling him. He stared into my eyes and kissed me deeply, causing heat to build in my stomach then spread up my body, honing my focus. Instinctively, I tugged at his shirt, needing it out of my way.

  “Spring,” he whispered, pulling back an inch. “We’re outside.” He glanced over his shoulder then back at me. “It’s not…ideal for us tonight.”

  “I know,” I agreed, trying to slow the blood flow racing through my veins.

  Henry sighed and ran a hand through my hair, resting it on the side of my neck, probably feeling my jumping pulse. “Just kiss me,” he requested, so softly. I did. “Again.” As I did, his hands slid up the back of my shirt. I shuddered with joy and dissolved…

  “Did you know,” I said, pressing my mouth to his neck, “instead of coming here, Mel wanted to take me on vacation this summer?”

  His hands stopped moving, then his arms wrapped all the way around me, holding me extra tightly against him. I knew exactly what he was thinking. Yes, we’d come dangerously close to messing everything up forever.

  Timing…

  “Why did she invite you?” he asked.

  I hooked my chin over his shoulder and ran a hand through the back of his hair. “I wasn’t doing very well without you,” I admitted. It was easier to say this while not looking at him. “She knew I needed to get away.”

  “Where”—he was back to sounding glum again—“was she taking you?”

  “Mexico.” When I felt him shudder, I sat back. “You don’t like Mexico?”

  He was displaying his clenched teeth in a parted-lip grimace. I slid off his lap so I could sit next to him. “My concern isn’t so much with the country as it is with the lawless order and behavior in government,” he explained. “I fear being kidnapped in a foreign place and ending up in a Mexican prison. The amount of testosterone is not conducive with my polished manners and rugged good looks.”

  I smiled at his formal cadence. Even in mid-embrace, Henry couldn’t help talking like a bourgeois. “It’s so tough being you.” I ran my fingers down his face. “Have you been there?”

  He nodded stiffly.

  “Bad experience?”

  He thought for a moment then laughed. “The last time I was there, my father and I went hiking in a rainstorm and got lost. Cami called the local Federales to pull us out. Humiliating.”

  “You’re close to your family,” I observed. This wasn’t a question, because I already knew the answer. When his smile broadened, I sighed, missing my brothers, my mother, even my father a little—which was strange. Maybe I missed the idea of family more than anything. Maybe it was time I did something about that.

  “You’re not?” Henry asked, sensing my mood shift.

  We were alone under the stars, wrapped around each other, and I was feeling things I never knew were possible for someone like me. We should be enjoying the reunion, making up for lost time, confessing our feelings, and not talking about my family.

  But Henry was watching me with that expression I knew so well. He pulled me onto his lap again, making me feel safe and warm, part of something important.

  “My parents,” I began, rubbing a hand over my forehead. “They never really meshed, even through six years of marriage. I haven’t spoken to my father in person for a long time. He had issues; we had issues.”

  “How long?” Henry asked, taking my hand and pressing it to his chest.

  “Years.” Too long, I almost added.

  Henry nodded, then pulled me forward, hugging me, his hand moving up and down my hair, then burrowing in to hold the nape of my neck. Revealing this part of my personal history was new to me—I wasn’t used to opening up. But being with Henry, his arms like a blanket, his body my pillow, made me want to share.

  “My mom,” I continued, my face still buried in his chest, “she never cooked for us, but she did manage to put together a sack lunch for me when I was a kid. Each of the sandwiches she made…” I trailed off, heavy emotions coming out of nowhere. “She always took a tiny bite out of the corner before wrapping it.” I smiled to myself. “That was her way of telling me she loved me, I guess.”

  He didn’t say anything at first, then he dipped his chin to touch his nose to my cheek. “I hope you realize,” he whispered, his soft breath brushing my skin.

  “Realize what?”

  He gathered me to him, even tighter. “I hope you realize”—he kissed me lightly—“that’s one powerful love story.”

  His words gave me that lighter-than-air sensation again, drowsy and dreamy and safe.

  Loved.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, holding his cheek.

  “Will you tell me more?”

  Chapter 34

  I tucked my hair behind my ears and stared into the glass. Then I untucked it, laying it over my shoulders. I leaned in closer to the mirror then backed away. After a sigh, I turned from side to side.

  Strange. Nothing appeared to have altered. Yet something had definitely changed, because I felt different inside. Happy, trusting, new.

  Still, my unchanged reflection puzzled me, or maybe I was simply reacting to the way I was being seen through Henry’s eyes, someone who loved me. I bit my lip, remembering…

  “Spring?” Mel’s voice startled me as she called through my bedroom door. “Coming down to breakfast?”

  I was forced to pull myself away from the mirror and the memories as I answered in the affirmative.

  She was grinning ear to ear when I opened the door. “I think I’m your good luck charm.”

  I was endeavoring, quite unsuccessfully, to hide my huge smile.

  “You’re utterly buzzing, babe.”

  “I am not,” I claimed, knowing I most certainly was.

  As we walked down the stairs, I could hear Henry’s voice coming from the kitchen. It made me want to slide down the banister and tumble into his arms, Lilah’s glares notwithstanding.

  “Oh,” Mel said as she drew my cell phone from her pocket. “You left this here while you and Henry were, umm…” She was smiling again. “Someone called twice for you last night, but I didn’t pick up.”

  I checked the missed calls. “Anabel.” I frowned. “Wonder what she wants.”

  “Did she stay back at school in the house with Julia?” she asked. “Those two have nothing in common. She’s probably just bored.” Mel’s brown curls bounced as she trotted down the stairs ahead of me, leaving me to return the call.

  I ducked into the dark library for privacy. Its walls were lined with shelves of leather-bound volumes. Half of one wall was adorned with an oil painting of a gray-haired man in a Navel officer’s uniform.

  Must be one of the Knightlys, I mused as I gazed at the noble figure, feeling an almost reverent affection. So different from my family. I dialed the number, remembering my father’s upcoming nuptials and feeling surprisingly happy for him.

  Anabel answered after the first ring. “Spring?”

  “Hey stranger,” I said. “Holding down the fort?”

  “I know you’re on the road, but I didn’t know what else to do. But, I mean, I thought I s
hould tell someone, right?” Drama queen Anabel rambled on for a minute but I wasn’t following. At one point, I actually held the phone away from my ear. “I didn’t think she was, like, that unhappy, did you? But why else would she say that?”

  “Anabel.” I rolled my eyes. “Tell me again, slowly, what’s going on.”

  When she spoke this time, her words were still muddled and confusing, but the picture they painted in my mind was all too clear. And suddenly, I was stone-cold sober.

  “Are you sure?” I asked, feeling simultaneously sick and numb. “Julia actually…did…” I couldn’t finish, but swallowed hard and sank into an overstuffed leather chair. When I’d heard enough, my mind snapped into gear, making the decision. “Okay, okay. Don’t do anything else for now. I’m coming home.” I was speed-dialing Julia’s cell a split-second later. Voicemail. Like I feared.

  Just as I ended the call, the library door flew open.

  “There you are.” Henry’s voice boomed brightly across the room. He looked like heaven, pure heaven. All I wanted to do was run to him, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t bear to tell him the truth.

  “I’ve been looking all—” His smile dropped and he stopping in place. “Are you…?”

  I squeezed my stinging eyes shut but heard him rush forward, felt him take my hands.

  “What’s wrong?” His voice was almost panicky. When I opened my eyes, he was kneeling in front of me.

  “I need to go home,” I managed to say. “Right now.”

  Henry’s eyes were large like black Frisbees.

  “I need to go home right now,” I repeated. When I attempted to stand, he held me down.

  “No.” His voice was gruff and his grip tightened. “You’re not leaving me now. What happened?”

  I tried again to stand, but every limb in my body was weak. The next second, his arms were around me, pulling me to the floor beside him.

  “Tell me,” he said in a low voice. “Let me help if I can. Please.”

  “I just talked to Anabel,” I said, breathing hard.

  “Anabel,” Henry repeated, staring into my eyes. “Your roommate?”

  I nodded, trying to hold it together. “She told me, she…she flipped out and took off. She’s been depressed, I knew that. Maybe I shouldn’t have left her. And now she’s gone.”

  “Anabel?”

  “Not Anabel.” I sniffed, dropping my eyes, not able to look at him as I continued. “Julia,” I whispered. “She ran away…with Alex.”

  All was silent; neither of us so much as breathed. Henry’s face was gray and still. His inscrutable eyes drifted from mine to the empty space beside me.

  “Julia,” he said. “Are you sure?”

  I nodded, briefly recapping the phone call.

  “They left together last night, so it’s been hours,” I said. “She’s unstable; she hasn’t been herself for months. I thought she was getting better, but she actually mentioned something about Alex a while ago. I…” I put a hand over my mouth. “I thought she was kidding.”

  Henry’s grip on me slackened. He stood up, leaving me on the floor, alone.

  “You know Alex, what he’s done to other…” I couldn’t complete the sentence. “I have no idea where they went, but I have to try and find her, or at least be home when she comes back.”

  Henry was standing in front of a large window, staring out at nothing. The morning sun was streaming through a slit in the drapes, shining on him like a spotlight piercing the dark room. It should’ve been a beautiful sight, but there was nothing beautiful about his face when he turned around. He wouldn’t even look at me.

  “You understand why I have to go,” I said.

  He fingered his chin. “Today?”

  “As soon as possible.” Gripping the chair behind me, I pulled myself to my feet.

  “Driving?” he asked.

  I nodded then attempted to call for Mel, but the tall room seemed to swallow my voice.

  “It’s twelve hundred miles,” he pointed out.

  I shot him a glance, and his expression showed that he wished he hadn’t said anything. I made my way to the door with no other thought than getting on my way, no time to spare.

  “Wait,” Henry said from behind. “You don’t need to drive. We have a plane.”

  “No, I couldn’t—”

  A phone was already at his ear.

  Nothing specific was given as a reason for our hasty removal and there was no time for bon adieus. Only Cami and Henry were with us as we rode in silence to the airfield behind their house. Henry handled our bags from his car to the private plane, all while still instructing and directing unintelligibly on a tiny black flip phone over the deafening jet engines.

  Just as I was about to start up the metal stairs, Henry caught my wrist. “Yes, right, but just hold on a sec.” He was looking directly at me but I could tell he was talking on his phone, then he held it away from his ear. “Spring,” he said in a rush, “I don’t know when I’ll see you again.” He held my gaze for just a moment before he let go of my wrist and went back to his phone call. I didn’t even have time to reply before Mel was pushing me up the stairs to board the plane.

  “What’s our plan?” she asked as we taxied down the runway.

  Still a bit shaken and still feeling where Henry had been holding my wrist, I shut my eyes, my mind whirling too fast. “I don’t have one,” I admitted.

  “Remind me,” Mel added. “What exactly did Henry’s letter say about where Alex took Cami. Maybe there’s something that can help.”

  I opened my eyes to peer out the window. I could see Henry leaning against the Jeep, arms folded, talking to Cami as he stared toward the plane. Whatever he’d just told her sent both hands flying over her gaping mouth. Then she reached out and grabbed her brother’s arm, shaking him.

  Chapter 35

  Melanie and I didn’t speak much during our flight home. Henry arranged for a rental car to be waiting for us at the airport in San Francisco to keep for as long as required. I was grateful for this, because I wasn’t in the presence of mind to consider that detail. He also assured that my car would be returned to me as soon as possible.

  “I’m going to your house,” Mel said as I was about to make the turn onto her street.

  “You don’t have to,” I said wearily. “There’s nothing you can do.”

  “I can sit there with you until she comes back,” she insisted. “So shut up.”

  “Thanks,” I said, and hung a U-turn toward home.

  Anabel was perched on a barstool in the kitchen when we walked in. She looked worried and tired, like I felt. My first impulse was to grab her by the shoulders and scold, knowing that—with her recent track record—this must somehow be her fault. But now wasn’t the time for blame.

  “Tell us what we don’t know,” I requested as I sat beside her, Mel on her other side.

  “I saw them leave together,” she answered, diving right in. “Alex was over here and—”

  “Why was Alex in this house?” I interrupted.

  Anabel stared down at her nails. “We’ve kind of been hanging out this summer.”

  I glared at my roommate. “I told you to stay away from him.”

  “I know.” She toyed with the ends of her hair. “But campus is a total ghost town and he’s cute—”

  “Whatever. Why did Julia take off with him if he’s been hanging out with you?”

  “Like I said, he was over here. It was weird. Julia was flirting with him, like, hardcore. When I left the room for a minute and came back, they were talking, he was touching her, telling her about some secret cabin at the beach.”

  My blood turned ice-cold and I glanced at Mel. Her face was white.

  “I’m pretty sure he’d been drinking a little.” Anabel bit her lip. “Well, maybe more than a little. And I know she’d been drinking a lot.”

  “And?”

  “Around midnight, he made a phone call. As soon as he left the room, Julia started bawling. She was hyster
ical, going on and on about needing to, ya know, get some. Have you ever heard her talk like that?”

  I shook my head, but then felt chilled again, remembering word for word the conversation we’d had about how, even though she and Dart had slept together, he still left her, and how resentful she’d felt about that…how it hadn’t been special after all.

  “She wasn’t making sense,” Anabel continued. “So I told her to—”

  “What did you tell her to do this time, Anabel?” Hot dread filled my veins.

  “Nothing!” Her eyes grew wide. “I mean, I told her to chill out. She was drunk. I’m not an idiot. Next thing I knew, she wiped her face and got this look in her eyes, staring at Alex when he finished his call. She walked right up to him and said she wanted to see the cabin.”

  “You didn’t stop her?” Mel asked.

  “What was I supposed to do?”

  “Kick Alex in his family jewels, for one,” I suggested.

  “I couldn’t! She grabbed her purse and they took off before I could do anything. They just left me and…it was just really weird.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, feeling another cold shiver down my spine.

  “Well, why did he take her and not me?”

  “Anabel!” I snapped.

  “Sorry.” She blinked and dropped her chin, like she was attempting to appear guilty. But I knew better. She was in shock that someone managed to steal a guy from under her nose.

  “Were you waiting up all night?” I asked. She nodded solemnly. “You can go to bed. Thanks for calling me last night. I know it must’ve sucked.”

  “Yeah,” she said, then added right before leaving the room, “and I really am sorry.”

  I said nothing in reply, I just walked with Mel to the living room. “It’s barely been twelve hours,” I said, slumping onto the couch. “What should we do?”

  “There’s nothing we can do,” Mel said. “We can’t even call the cops yet. She’s not missing and in no imminent danger.”

  “Imminent,” I muttered, coldly.