Never an Amish Bride Read online

  “Carry the two,” she said, then ruffled the top of her brother’s hair.

  “Stop it,” Abraham said in a mopey voice.

  “Stop what?” She mussed his hair again.

  “Stop your teasin’!” He knocked her hand away.

  “Temper…temper…”

  “Ma!” Abraham whined. “Make her stop.”

  Their mother glanced up from the letter she was writing at the far end of the table. “Behave, you two.”

  “I am!”

  Esther lifted her eyebrows innocently. “So am I. But your freshly cut hair is too irresistible.” She bent down to kiss his cheeks and pinch the back of his neck.

  “If he stabs you with his pencil, don’t you dare get blood on my wedding dress,” Sarah said, blowing on her fingertips.

  “Ack, Sarah,” Maam said. “Such violent talk.”

  Abraham wiggled away from Esther, pushed back from his chair, and stood.

  She laughed. “You don’t relish your big sister kissing you?”

  Abraham stuck out his tongue. “I don’t like no one—”

  “Anyone.”

  Her brother’s face turned red. “Anyone—ugh!”

  Esther was laughing now. So were Sarah, Benjamin, and even Maam. “I’m gonna get you,” she said, chasing her brother around the table, Abraham only inches away from her grasp. His wails and pleas made Esther tease him more. Just as she was about to catch him and cover him with kisses, Daed appeared at the back door.

  “What,” he said, removing his straw hat while wiping his boots on the mat, “is going on here? Who’s making a racket when it’s schooling time?”

  For a moment, nobody moved. Then, betraying them all, Sarah said, “Esther started it.”

  Still out of breath, Esther glared down at her sister. “You do want armholes in your wedding dress, right?” she whispered. The sinister part of her heart thought that might make a great joke, repaying Sarah for being such a pain in the backside all week.

  “Esther.” Daed pointed at her. “Come here. You, too, son.”

  For a moment, Esther feared her father might actually be upset. True, it was school time, but it was so warm today, and the battery-operated fans in the room weren’t helping in the slightest.

  “Outside with me,” he said. “Now.” Then he glanced over his shoulder. “All of you. Sarah, Benjamin. Evie!” Daed called out until their curly-haired little sister came down the stairs. “Mamma,” he added, “you too.”

  Maam pressed her lips together in a smile and followed them out the back door. Sitting on the patio was a large ice chest filled to the brim with brightly colored Popsicles.

  Abraham gasped. “For us?”

  Papa laughed. “Of course! Can’t expect you to get much done on a beautiful day like today. If it’s okay with Momma, I say we play the rest of the afternoon.”

  All eyes shot to Maam. “Well,” she said, running her hands down her apron, “I suppose we shouldn’t waste such a perfect autumn day.”

  Whoops and shouts erupted as hugs and kisses were shared, then on to the tasty cool treats.

  Even Esther took the time to sit on the edge of a bench after choosing a strawberry-flavored Popsicle, her chin tilted toward the sun. She loved hearing the kinnahs’ laughter, Sarah’s advice to Evie, as well as her parents chatting behind her. After a few minutes, however, and maybe after too much sugar, her younger siblings’ laughter grew boisterous. Playful shrieks floated from around the corner by the barn where the youngsters and Daed had disappeared.

  “What’s that ruckus?” asked Maam.

  “I’ll check,” Esther said. Before she could take two steps toward the barn, out jumped the kinnahs, Abraham holding the garden hose. They were soaking wet. After not too many seconds, so was Esther.

  “That’s for teasin’!” Her brother laughed, spraying Esther in the face. The cool water felt so marvelous that the sneak attack barely bothered her. Not until all—including Papa—were covered head to toe in mud did the water fight conclude.

  “Out to the barn,” Maam ordered. “Let me hose you off before you dirty up my clean floors.”

  “Mother!” Esther suddenly remembered. “May I take my bath now? I’ve got, well, I’m going into town this afternoon, if it’s okay.”

  “What time?” she asked, tugging off Benjamin’s muddy shirt.

  “Three,” Esther said, silently praying that there would be no further questions. She’d been taking soap into town so often lately that she hoped that would be the assumption.

  “Better hurry,” Maam said.

  “Do you want a buggy?” asked her father, working to get the mud out of his beard.

  “Are you sure?” Esther asked, rather surprised.

  “Plowing’s done. The mule’s been resting all day.”

  “Danke, Daed,” Esther said. “I really appreciate it.”

  Practically tearing off her muddy dress and apron, Esther ran bathwater—warmed by the solar panels that lined the roof—and grabbed a bar of her clove soap. In no time at all, she was clean and dry, dressing carefully in a plain pink dress and blue apron. Though she didn’t try to stand out, she thought the light color looked good on her.

  Having done it dozens of times, she had no trouble getting Peanut the mule into her harness and the buggy ready to go. She thought about that crack Sarah had made about her mule needing a bath. Esther thought she smelled like fresh soil, hard work, and love.

  As a precaution in case her parents were watching, she took a box of soap with her, as if hand delivering it to a customer was her purpose for needing the buggy.

  But, since no one was around to even wave her away, she set off down the road. Esther assumed she should feel guilty for not telling her mother the exact truth. Was there an implacable hardness in her heart now that kept her from feeling even the slightest bit of remorse for her actions?

  Maybe this was what the deacons warned about during the preachings. Would the little white lies add up until she didn’t know what was true anymore? She wondered what Sarah or Louisa would say if they knew what she was up to. Actually, she knew exactly what they would say, which made her gently pull back on the reins for just a moment—reconsidering the adventure.

  Would she someday look back and wonder if this was her first real step off Gott’s path? At the terrifying thought, she pulled hard on the reins, causing Peanut to whinny.

  “It’s okay, girl,” she said, talking sweetly to the mule while her heart beat hard. She didn’t want to be disobedient. She wanted to be at peace, to have perfect faith, to not keep thinking about how much fragrance she might get away with adding to her next batch of soap, and also to not feel like she wanted to cry every time she thought about Sarah’s wedding dress. “Everything’s okay,” she cooed to Peanut. “We’re just going to turn around ever so slowly.”

  At first she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. An Englishman in a black sweatshirt with the hood up was standing along the shoulder of the road, an arm held out to his side, his thumb extended like a hitchhiker.

  “Going my way, pretty lady?” he said. Esther held tight to the reins as he approached the buggy.

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake.” An indulgent relief flooded her body at the realization it was Lucas. “What on earth are you doing out here like this?” she said, trying not to giggle at his appearance.

  He looked up and peeled back his hood. “Figured you’d be coming down this road. It’s a shortcut to town.” He peered into the buggy. “Got more soap, I see.”

  “Special delivery to Yoder’s.”

  “Uh-huh.” Lucas held a hand up to Peanut, letting her smell him; then he stroked her nose. “You’re going there now?”

  “Well…” Esther bit a thumbnail out of nervous habit. “I must admit, I was actually about to turn around for home.”

  His
eyebrows mushed together, displaying an expression of confusion, then unmistakable disappointment. Esther wasn’t sure how either made her feel.

  “I see,” he said. “I thought we—”

  “I know,” she cut in, not forgetting her reason for wanting to retreat. “I know we said we’d talk some more—and I really want to.”

  “You’ve still got questions,” he said.

  She nodded, biting her nail again.

  “So do I.” Lucas stood in silence, then turned his attention to Peanut. He scratched behind her ears, then patted the side of her head. When Jacob had been alive, he’d held strong to the old Amish belief that the measure of an animal’s creation was to toil and till the earth, to work for man.

  Lucas pulled a sugar cube from his pocket and fed it to Peanut. The mule swallowed it whole then began nudging Lucas, wanting more. It was terribly sweet watching him treat her favorite pet so kindly, differently than how others in the community had.

  He looked up at her. His eyes were a soft brown, lighter than his younger brother’s. It made Esther blink hard when she realized she was comparing the two Brenneman brothers. She actually flinched when she realized she preferred Lucas’s looks.

  Did that make her unfaithful?

  “You’re leaving, then?” Lucas asked.

  Esther kept her gaze away as she nodded. “Where will you go?” she asked.

  “Same place I was headed. A friend of mine in Nickel Mines had a litter of kids. Triplets,” he added. “I thought you might want to see them, but since—”

  “Three baby goats?” Esther’s own shriek of glee almost startled her, and she nearly gave herself whiplash. “I’d love that! Can we go?”

  Lucas laughed and ran a hand through his hair. It, too, was lighter than Jacob’s, thicker, even, and had curls on the ends. But Esther must stop all these comparisons. Admiring her dead fiancé’s older brother couldn’t possibly be the Christian way to gain the closure she desperately wanted.

  “Do you mind driving?” Lucas said, glancing up at the empty space next to her.

  “Not at all.” Her smile grew as Lucas nimbly climbed onto her small buggy and took his seat. He smelled of pine and clean shampoo.

  “Is this okay?” He gestured at how close they were forced to sit.

  Keeping her grin in place, she aimed her gaze forward. “I’m a big girl, Mr. Lucas.” She clicked her tongue, causing Peanut to trot.

  “I see that,” he replied. “Decent driver, too. Very safe and slow for such a wide, empty road.” When she glanced at him, he was grinning.

  Esther was never one to back away from a challenge. She’d been riding on and driving with Peanut for nearly seven years. She knew exactly what the animal was capable of. Clicking her tongue again, she gently whipped the reins. “Let’s go, girl,” she said. “Show him what you’ve got!”

  As Peanut picked up the pace, iron and springs clinked, and wind whipped into the coach of the buggy, ruffling Esther’s cloak. When they hit a small bump, Lucas laughed and actually gripped the railing on the side of his seat as if worried he’d fall off.

  “Woo-hoo!” he cheered as the road flew by, making Esther giggle, prompting Peanut to go faster.

  The wind on her face was exhilarating, and her heart sailed like it always did when she rode with abandon—another thing of which Jacob hadn’t approved. At the thought of his name, Esther lost her nerve and pulled back on the reins, slowing Peanut to a trot.

  “Had enough?” she said to Lucas.

  “I take it back—you’re a fantastic driver,” he said. “That was a blast!”

  “Danke.” She laughed, catching her breath. Esther hadn’t felt this comfortable with a man since…well, since Jacob. “How much farther?” she asked, not wanting awkwardness to set in.

  “We’re almost there. I think you broke a speed record.” He gave directions, and after no time, they were pulling up to a small farm.

  At first glance, it looked plain, but then Esther noticed the big white truck behind the barn, as well as the satellite dish for watching TV. She’d been in plenty of English homes, though it was always an adjustment at first. She didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable, and never really relished explaining her lifestyle to curious outsiders.

  “There’s Eric,” Lucas said as he hopped off the carriage and took the reins to hold Peanut steady. “Hello, to the house!” he called.

  A middle-aged man with light hair wearing overalls came around from the side of the house. “Lucas! Glad you could make it!”

  Still keeping hold of the reins, Lucas reached a hand up to Esther. For a stupid long moment, she stared at it, thinking this would be the first time she would purposefully touch the grown-up Lucas.

  “Plan on staying up there forever?” he said in a quiet voice. “Or do you prefer to climb off yourself?”

  “No. Um, thank you,” she said, sliding her hand into his. She couldn’t help but notice the hard roughness, silently wondering why a medical person’s hands would be so worn. “Much obliged,” she added after landing firmly on the ground.

  “May I take care of the mule?” he asked, already leading Peanut toward the fenced-in field where two horses and a cow were grazing. Esther followed behind Lucas, watching him first shake hands with his friend, then lead Peanut inside the fence.

  “This little jenny’s tuckered out,” he said to Eric. “Mind if she gets some water?”

  “Help yourself.” Eric patted the mule on the rump.

  “Oh, I’ll do that,” Esther said, not used to anyone else taking care of Peanut.

  “I got it,” Lucas said with a crooked grin. “I do remember how to handle animals.”

  She unleashed a jolly laugh. “Okay, but keep an eye on her. She’ll drink for an hour straight if you let her; then she won’t want to move for two days.”

  Lucas nodded, squinting from the sun. “Esther, this is Eric Leigh. We met at the clinic when I first moved here.” The man smiled and nodded, extending his hand for her to shake, no awkwardness at all. “Eric, meet Esther Miller. We grew up together.”

  Eric stopped shaking and gripped her hand. “Not Moses Miller’s Esther?”

  “Why, yes,” Esther said, surprised at hearing the nickname.

  Lucas stepped closer. “You know each other?”

  “No,” Esther began slowly.

  “Yes,” Eric cut in. “Or I’ve heard of you. You make the soap at Yoder’s.”

  Esther felt herself standing a little taller. “I do.”

  “Boy, oh, boy. My wife can’t get enough of it. She’d buy out your entire inventory if given the chance.”

  “Honest?” Esther couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face. “I’m so pleased to hear that.”

  “Smells pretty good, huh?” Lucas added in.

  “I’ll say. There’s one that reminds me of my granddaddy’s rose garden. Takes me back some years, I tell ya. Shoo, y’all,” Eric added when a half dozen chickens began pecking around their feet.

  “Do you know if your wife has tried the clove?” Esther asked, wondering if that was something Leah would say to a customer. Commerce, and all that.

  “Can’t say I remember that scent.”

  Esther grinned. “Well, I just so happen to have a fresh box in the buggy that you can give to her.”

  “That’s real nice.” Eric bowed. “But I’m sure she’d appreciate it better coming from you. Vivian! Vivy, babe, come on out here.”

  “You’re famous,” Lucas whispered, giving her a nudge.

  “I am not.” She laughed softly. “But folks sure love the soap these days. My cousin who sells them, she keeps asking me to make them smell stronger, but you know how the church is about that.”

  Lucas cocked his head to the side. “No, I don’t. Or I don’t remember.”

  “Well, I suppose it’s diff
icult to be submissive if you smell like perfume.” She ran a finger under her chin thoughtfully. “I’m trying to be obedient. I mean, I want to be—”

  Just then, the back door flew open, and a tall woman with a blond ponytail appeared. She wore a pink sweater and white jeans. Esther couldn’t imagine wearing something so immodest, but she tried very hard not to judge outsiders, for they lived a completely different lifestyle. Perhaps not better or worse, just different.

  “Hi there,” she said, walking over. She looked much younger than her husband. But again, Esther was not to judge.

  “Viv, you know Lucas, of course.”

  “Sure.” Her smile was big and bright. “Nice seeing you.”

  “And this…” He took a pause and actually gestured at Esther with both hands. “This is Esther—”

  “Hey there. Good to meet ya. I’m Vivian Leigh—like the movie star, but I’m just a housewife.” Vivian’s high laugh sounded like sparkling diamonds.

  “You didn’t let me finish,” Eric said. “Her name is Esther Miller.”

  Vivian’s expression was blank for a moment; then her eyes lit up. “The Esther Miller?”

  “Yup.” Eric grinned and hooked his thumbs around the straps of his overalls.

  Vivian’s gaze shot to Esther. “You mean my future best friend in all the world, Esther Miller?”

  “The very same.”

  “Ohhhh…my goodness,” she said, jumping up and down while clapping. “I love your soaps. They’re my very favorite thing ever. I swear, I can’t get along without them.”

  Trying to push past the sudden shyness brought on by being the center of attention, Esther lifted a smile. “Thank ye,” she said. “Um, I brought you a box—two dozen hand cut. I hope that’s not too many. It’s a new fragrance, clove—”

  “Are you serious?” Vivian eyed the box Lucas had just appeared with. “You brought it for…me?”

  “Jah.” Esther motioned for Lucas to hand it to Vivian before the woman burst.

  “Omigosh, this smells amazing,” Vivian said, sniffing the air above the box. Esther could smell it, as well. And she had to admit, it was pretty amazing. “Thank you. Oh, my stars, thank you, Miss Esther Miller!”