Definitely, Maybe in Love Page 28

  The prowler was behind me on hands and knees, quietly gasping in the shadows. I knew I’d probably knocked the wind out of him, and deservedly so! I didn’t have time to worry about him, my only thought was to make it through that door across the street and up those stairs.

  “I won’t call the cops this time,” I added, rolling onto my knees. “But you should know I sleep with a wrench under my pillow.”

  “Feels like you used it on me.”

  I wheeled around to find Henry rubbing his forehead.

  “Are your shoes made of cement, woman?”

  “Knightly?” My eyes strained, pulling in every bit of light from the streetlamp.

  “I saw you at the window.” He crawled over, a hand still at his forehead.

  “Did I hurt you?” I asked, only half feeling the pain shooting from my own right shoulder.

  “It’s nothing.” One side of his face was matted with grass and dirt. “Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

  “I saw my car and…”

  He angled his chin to the light. To say the sight was soul-shaking might be a dramatic stretch, but that’s how I felt as our eyes met in the dark.

  “How long have you been back?” I asked, silently praying he wouldn’t inform me that he’d been around for days and was just now finding the time to pop in and say hello.

  “Exactly”—he squinted at his watch—“one minute and twenty seconds.” His face was tired and a little weathered, his clothes and hair uncharacteristically disheveled. He noticed my wondering stare. “I left home seventeen hours ago,” he explained, smoothing out his collar.

  “Oakland?”

  “No,” he replied, looking a little confused at my assumption. “The ranch. I flew back right after dropping off Julia and Dart, then drove back here in your car.” He was brushing grass from the knees of his pants. “You need to have your tires rotated. I would’ve done that along the way, but I know how you are about accepting unrequested favors.”

  I think I was nodding, but only half listening to his small talk. There were a few things I needed to say, because, like my sweet roommate had said, life was too short to wait.

  “Henry.” I jumped in before his voice had time to fade out. “Julia told me what you did for her.”

  His brow furrowed, playing confused.

  “Thank you. I know it must’ve been…unpleasant.” I exhaled a dark laugh. Obviously unpleasant was an understatement.

  “You don’t have to—”

  “Please. I need to say this.”

  The lines in his forehead disappeared as he nodded and sat back.

  “There’ve been mistakes…screw-ups, and I wish there was some kind of magical phrase I could turn to explain, to tell you…” I trailed off and groaned. “Yes?”

  I’d stopped speaking when Henry’s mouth popped open, dying to butt in. He was holding up one finger now.

  “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”

  “Sorry,” he said. “But I have to interrupt here.” He scooted around so we were sitting across from each other on the cool grass. The light from the streetlamp was shining in my favor now, illuminating Henry’s face. I could see a little welt—approximately the size of my Doc Martin heel—swelling on his forehead. I could also see that he’d just lifted a tiny smile.

  “I have no intention of turning this into one of those lectures you find so irritating, but I do want to let you in on a few things.”

  “Okay?”

  “Number one, I really blow at reading between the lines, so don’t bother trying to drum up some idiom that isn’t one hundred percent clear. Two, I’ve known you long enough to know there’s not a person on this earth who can argue you into something you don’t already believe.” He lifted another half smile. “A lawyer’s worse nightmare. Third and lastly…”

  From his expression, I knew he was considering, formulating the sentences in his head before speaking. Some things never changed.

  “Lastly, as much as I enjoyed being with you that night at the ranch, and when we were camping, and…in my kitchen.” He took a decisive pause, looking me in the eyes. I felt that pile of hot bricks on my chest from all those nights ago. “Well,” he continued, “that wasn’t exactly the way I wanted it then, and it’s definitely not the way I want it now.”

  His last declaration threw me. Just like that, hot bricks dissolved into cold liquid.

  “You don’t…” I could barely speak. “You don’t want me now.”

  He stared at me for a long moment, his gaze unwavering. “Don’t want you?” he repeated slowly. “Springer.” He reached across the darkness and took my hand. “I have never wanted anything in my life more than you.”

  I felt like the weight of the world had flown from my shoulders as I gazed at him, his lips pulling back into a smile. I reached out to touch his face, but he caught my wrist.

  “This goes no further,” he said, lowering my extended arm down to my side, “until I hear it from you.” He removed his other hand from mine, sat back on his heels and folded his arms. “I need this, Spring. I need to hear it.”

  A set of battling creatures descended upon my insides. One was attempting to calm me, while the other filled me with a totally different kind of nervousness. Because I knew what Henry was after.

  Never in my life had I said those words. I’d tried to show him before, but that wasn’t enough. Henry was braver than me, he’d already said it months ago, fearlessly. I was not feeling as brave.

  He sighed impatiently. “Are you going to say it?” he asked. “You know you want to.” There he was again, that confident, self-assured, sexy Greek hero who was completely certain of everything he did. His delicious lips pressed together, hiding a smile as he inched closer. “Because I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. I traveled for three days straight. The last day was in your car, listening to the only CDs you had in there. Alanis Morissette on repeat. She’s stuck in my head.” His angel face twisted with exaggerated pain. “Any idea what that’s doing to me right now?”

  “You listened to Alanis?”

  “And Fiona.” He shrugged good-naturedly, charmingly. “Though I think I prefer—”

  “Henry,” I cut him off, scooted forward on my grass-stained knees and took his hands. “Henry Edward Knightly…the third,” I added in a whisper, giving him a knowing grin. I ran my hands up his arms. “You drive me absolutely crazy.” He chuckled softly and looked down. “You amaze me.” I lifted his chin. “And I love you.”

  Before my voice had faded out, Henry’s arms were around me. It must change something in your chemistry when you kiss someone for the first time after saying I love you. I would never mock Julia or her theories again. Never.

  The next thing I knew, we were down on the ground, adding new patches of green to our previously grass-stained clothing. Henry was already a mess, and personally, the more tangled and twisted he became, the more insanely attractive he grew. I lovingly extracted blades of grass from his hair, while he wiped whatever foliage it was that was stuck to the side of my face.

  “Won’t it be interesting,” he whispered, pressing my hand against his chest, “to actually be with each other in broad daylight without feeling the need to hide behind a gas station?”

  “What a kissing tramp you turned me into on our campout.”

  That spicy, virile, distinctive quality that exuded from his pores was now seeping into my bloodstream. I welcomed it in with every breath.

  “Hardly,” he said with a laugh, tugging my arm. I obliged by wrapping my top leg around his to further intertwine us. “I don’t believe it’s considered trampy if you’re dating.”

  I rolled closer so I could burrow into his neck. That smell. “We weren’t dating then.”

  He swept the hair from the nape of my neck, his finger tracing a swirling pattern over my skin. “Details,” he said. “But I would like to do this right, just the same.”

  “Do what?”

  Henry lifted his head off the grass,
propping it on an elbow. “May I take you out?” he asked. “A proper date. The first of millions.”

  “Only if you tell me something,” I said, feeling a thrill in the security of a million dates to come with the man I did not plan on living without. “Three things, actually.”

  He smiled inquisitively. “You have them numbered?”

  “They’re important.”

  He tucked some hair behind my ears. “Fire away.”

  “First. Why didn’t you call me?”

  “When?” he asked, running a hand up and down my arm.

  “Well, ever, generally speaking, but yesterday or today to be specific.”

  “I was driving. It’s dangerous to—”

  “I didn’t know where you were,” I couldn’t help interrupting, squeezing his shoulder. “I didn’t know what was happening.”

  He seemed puzzled by my statement. “Wait. Didn’t you know?”

  “Apparently not.”

  “Before you boarded the plane, I told you I would meet you back here.”

  I peered at him. “No, you didn’t.”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “I said—”

  “Your exact words were: ‘I don’t know when I’ll see you again.’”

  “Right. Well…and you didn’t understand what I meant?”

  “You assumed with that sentence that I would know you were going to take off to Monterey, find Julia, bring her back to Palo Alto, leave again to Montana, drive back, and then come scaling up my wall like a knight in shining Armani?”

  “Basically,” he said. “It was only three days.”

  “Exactly.” I tapped his chest to add emphasis: “Three. Whole. Days.” I sighed at his baffled expression, but then pulled myself onto his chest and kissed him, because I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. “Henry, your communication leaves much to be desired.”

  “I’ll work on it,” he promised. “And I’ll never make you wait three days again.”

  I dipped my chin to kiss his neck, my hair spilling across his face. “Where did you go after that night you left the note?”

  “I stayed with Dart in New York for a while,” he said, rolling us so we were on our sides, nose to nose. “He was completely pissed off at me when I told him I might have made a mistake about Julia.”

  “You told him that?”

  “Right after you and Mel left the ranch,” he said after a deep sigh. “Even before then…that last day in Washington, you made me think. I realized pretty soon afterward that I’d made a lot of mistakes. Moving to the house in Oakland was meant to be a distraction for Dart until the fall. I was an ass for not telling you we were moving. It was very wrong of me, but at that point, I was trying to convince myself that you were the last woman in the world I should be in love with.” He ran a finger from my forehead to the tip of my nose. “Even though I already was madly in love with the most incredible woman in the world.” His finger moved to my lips. “And she loves me back.” He blinked slowly. “Incredible.”

  I never had daydreams about what a lover would say to me. But the words he spoke under the streetlights as we lazed on the grass were surpassing any fantasy I could have conjured.

  “You said you had three questions for me,” Henry whispered, kissing around my chin. “Number two, please.”

  “Did you beat up Alex?”

  He stopped kissing and rolled onto his back. “I may have thrown a few punches, but nothing that will leave any permanent damage.”

  “I’m sorry about…him.” I shuddered. “Back in the fall.”

  “I know.” He was quiet for a moment before adding, “Do you forgive me for Lilah?”

  “Of course.” I placed my hands on the ground on either side of his shoulders, balancing myself over him. “Especially since you were obviously suffering from the early onset of psychosis at the time.”

  He laughed. “It truly was a nightmare with her. If she hadn’t been Dart’s sister, I would’ve told her off a lot sooner.”

  “Mmm, I’d love to see that, tough guy.”

  “In a way, I have her to thank.”

  I cocked my head.

  Henry smiled, fingering the ends of my hair. “If she hadn’t already talked you down so much with cautionary horror stories, I might not have paid much attention at first. But seeing you at the street party, I was instantly confused.” He grinned. “And simultaneously intrigued. I’m sure I seemed rude that night, staring at you like a creeper, but I was trying to work you out. After I discovered on my own that you’re this…this wonderful, brilliant life force, I devoted every spare moment of my time trying to make you forget about the ogre you met that night.”

  “You have my official permission to cease atoning for the past,” I granted after a quick kiss. “Or we might be here all night.”

  Henry grinned wickedly, and suddenly, I felt myself being lifted and dragged forward, my entire body on top of him. His arms tightened around me, keeping me pinned to him. “Saturday night, then. It’s a date?”

  I started to nod, but halted. “I can’t. There’s somewhere important I need to be this Saturday. My father’s wedding.”

  “That’s…great?” he offered, clearly confused by my somber tone.

  A tiny swarm of nerves fluttered in my stomach, but I welcomed these ones, too. “I haven’t seen him in ten years,” I explained. “I’m petrified about it, but it’s a first step. I know I need to be there. I want to be there.” I gazed at the good man wrapped around me, the man who I was convinced could help me with anything I needed, and even those things I didn’t realize I needed. “Will you come with me?”

  Henry brushed the hair from my face with both hands. “Love to.”

  Someone in my house opened a window, and music spilled out onto the street. Bruno Mars.

  “I have a confession to make,” I whispered.

  “Hmm?”

  “That playlist you made for me, it wasn’t corrupted like I said. I deleted it on purpose.”

  He frowned in confusion. “Were you mad at me for—”

  “No.” I held his face between my hands. “Those songs. I don’t know if you meant to do it or not, but listening to them made me want to…” I ducked my chin, hiding my face in his chest, irrationally embarrassed.

  His body shook under me with a quiet laugh. “Made you want to what?”

  I waited a moment then lifted my chin. “Make out with you.”

  “Really?” He cocked an eyebrow, gazing off to the side. “Huh.”

  “It was kind of torture, because I couldn’t back then.”

  “Ah, Spring. Yes, you could have.” He took my face and kissed me until my toes curled. “Any time you wanted.” He pulled back, cocking his eyebrow again. “You better believe I’m reloading those songs.”

  “And ten more,” I requested, hovering over his mouth. “Bring it on.”

  The lawn sprinklers were set to a one a.m. timer. When they came on, Henry grabbed my hand and together we hustled to the sidewalk. Henry with damp hair and his wet shirt unbuttoned halfway down was like staring at a dazzling sunset. I drank in the vista.

  “My place or yours?” he asked, little droplets of water clinging to his lashes.

  I glanced at my house, the windows glowing yellow, sounds of music and laughter and way too many people.

  “Yours, please.”

  He took me by the hand and we crossed the street.

  When I stepped out of the second-floor bathroom, having changed into one of his dry shirts and a pair of drawstring shorts, Henry was just leaving his room, bare-chested, pulling on a dry shirt over his head. Another staring-at-a-perfect-sunset moment. After his head and arms made their way through their respective holes, he blinked at me, looking stunned.

  “First those braids, then flour, and now…” He tugged at the shirt I was wearing, the too-big neck hole hanging off one shoulder. “Is there anything you can’t don like a goddess?”

  “I thought you loved me for my brain.”

  “I love you fo
r a lot of reasons,” he said as he stepped toward me. “I guess you standing at my open bedroom door in the middle of the night looking like this is just my lucky bonus.”

  Damn.

  His arms slid around me, backing me against the wall. “If we stay up here much longer,” he whispered the next time his lips were free, “I might not let you leave.”

  In reply, I slid my hands around his waist then inside the back of his shirt, like he’d done to me so many times.

  “Spring…” he murmured a little raggedly as I ran my hands up the smooth, hard skin of his back, enjoying it as much as he was.

  “I love you,” I whispered into his neck. “Never leaving.”

  He leaned against me, pressing my back against the wall, our bodies a solid line.

  “I believe you have one last question,” he said as he kissed a trail down my throat. When his last kiss touched my collar bone, he pulled away and looked me in the eyes. I stared back, breathing hard.

  “Come, Honeycutt,” he said, taking my hand, intertwining our fingers. “You’ve parched me dry.” He led us downstairs and sat me on the couch. “Your last question,” he prompted, passing me a water bottle to share.

  I scooched back and draped my legs across his lap. “There’s a preamble first,” I said.

  “How unlike you.”

  “Did you get my thesis in the mail?”

  Henry smiled and ran a hand over my legs. “Yesterday. I would’ve arrived back here two hours sooner, but I couldn’t leave until I’d read it. Twice. I’ll admit, I was surprisingly impressed, though I shouldn’t have been.” He reached out and ran a finger along my hairline, stopping on the indent of my temple. “This beautiful brain,” he murmured reverently. “But you didn’t see my side of the issue in the end.” There was a twinkle in his eyes.

  I leaned over and kissed him. “Your side is wrong,” I whispered, lingering on the corner of his mouth.

  “No, your side is wrong,” he countered, then gently bit my bottom lip. “Publication?”

  I touched my forehead to his. “Oxford University Press.”

  He grinned. “Shut up.”

  “And a grant that paid for my summer research trip.” I twirled a finger around his curls then traced down to the tip of his nose. “Which brings me to my last question. What were you thinking when you first saw me at the ranch?”