Speaking of Love Read online

  “She’s gone?”

  “Like the wind, my friend. I could’ve sworn she got in her car and left right when you got here. I think she’s with my sister.”

  Rick nodded. That made sense, since Mac and Tess were best friends. “Tess is probably giving her a pep talk.”

  “If I know anything about Mac,” Charlie said, chuckling, “and I do, it’s the other way around.”

  Rick didn’t like the way Charlie was suddenly smiling. It made him think of the conversation he and Mac had had at the cabin while building the fire. She’d told him about going camping with his family and how she and Charlie had stayed up all night, and they’d seemed closer than just friends. Rick still wondered about that. He turned to look toward the woods, the patch of land that Mac was so passionate about saving.

  “Hey, how’s it going?” Charlie said, interrupting Rick’s thoughts.

  Rick turned to see Charlie giving the eye to a tall blonde who was obviously there with another guy. Usually this would make Rick chuckle, but not today.

  “Let me ask you something, Charlie,” Rick said. “Man to man.”

  Charlie looked at him and chuckled. “Man to man?”

  “Do you have a thing for Mac?”

  Charlie blinked, looking astonished. Rick was afraid he might have to throw a punch if Charlie started laughing. And punching Army Sergeant Charlie Johansson would not be a good thing. But since he’d already thrown the man-to-man thing out there…

  But Charlie did not laugh. “A thing for Mac,” he repeated, slowly, then, “yeah.”

  Rick felt his fists clench, ready to deck Charlie for a different reason now.

  “Did, I should say,” Charlie corrected. “In the past tense. Very past tense.”

  Rick folded his arms. “And?”

  “And, nothing.” Charlie shrugged. “It was so long ago, I can’t even remember what happened.”

  “Try.”

  Charlie slid his hands in his pockets but didn’t speak right away. When he moved off to the side of the pavilion as more people arrived, Rick followed him. “I put it out there once,” Charlie said, “and she didn’t bite.”

  “Put what out there?”

  Charlie did chuckle at this. “Words,” he said, waving to someone behind Rick. “Only words. Honestly, she probably didn’t even know what I was getting at.”

  “What happened?”

  While Charlie thought for a moment, Rick noticed a TV news van pull up. Then another.

  “Mac is much more…complicated than I used to think,” Charlie finally said, smiling. “Taxing. A handful.”

  Rick smiled, too. “She sure is.”

  “Wait a minute… Are you…?” Charlie didn’t finish; he only lifted his eyebrows.

  Rick groaned, tipped his chin, and looked up at the sky.

  “You and Mac?”

  Rick groaned again.

  “If you’ve got it bad for Mac, what were you doing with Brandy over the weekend?”

  Rick looked at him. “How did you know about last weekend?”

  “I hear things.”

  Rick rolled his eyes. Tess, again. “There’s absolutely nothing going on with Brandy,” he said, walking back toward the pavilion.

  “Does Mac know that?”

  Rick was about to answer, but thought for a moment, rubbing his chin. “I don’t know. We haven’t…talked about it.”

  “So what you’re telling me is, you went away for the weekend to be with Brandy and came back hung up on Mac?”

  Rick sighed, feeling a little helpless. “It would seem so.”

  Charlie just started at him, looking utterly confused. Rick couldn’t blame him—he didn’t have a very clear picture, either.

  “You haven’t told her,” Charlie said, “and nothing happened between you two?”

  “Something happened.” Rick climbed up on the stage, unfolding the stack of chairs. “But then it didn’t.”

  “Why not?” Charlie scoffed. “Mac is sexy as hell.”

  Rick shook his head. “You have no clue about this, Charlie. You go through women like water.”

  “Look, just because I’m not planning on settling down now doesn’t mean I’ve never thought about it or want it…someday.” Charlie was abnormally quiet for a moment. “And yeah, I know I’m the last guy in the world to offer love advice, but I do know that if you don’t flat out tell a woman you’re interested, she won’t assume—not if she’s smart. And we both know Mac is very smart. If you haven’t talked to her about it, told her you’re not interested in Brandy, what makes you think she knows?”

  Rick swore and sat on the edge of the stage. “I don’t know how this happened,” he said. “And you said you think she left here right when she saw me?”

  Charlie shrugged. “I didn’t talk to her, but it looked that way.” He sat next to Rick. “Huh,” he grunted.

  Rick rolled his eyes but didn’t look at him. “What?”

  “You and Mac. I can see it but…I can’t.”

  “English please, Charlie.”

  “Well, I’m assuming you can handle her mouth, and if you can handle her temper, too, then you’re tougher than most field-decorated soldiers I know.”

  Rick felt his heart beat a little harder, just thinking about Mac’s mouth. “And the can’t?”

  “I don’t know,” Charlie said, running his hand over his shaved head. “Even when I heard that you two were hanging out, going to those swanky dinners, I couldn’t see it. I can’t see her in your world.”

  “My world?” Rick asked, right as he spotted his father’s black town car pull into the lot.

  “She hates going to those things.”

  Rick couldn’t help smiling. “I know. So do I.”

  “That was the only thing,” Charlie said. “I just don’t see her fitting into that world.”

  “I don’t fit in that world, either,” Rick said, glancing toward where his father was talking with the mayor. “That’s why I need her.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “Are you ready?”

  Mac turned to smile at Tess and flutter her eyelashes. “Not even a little bit.”

  Tess laughed. “Good. We both know you’re way better under pressure.”

  “And with no sleep and hardly any preparation?” Mac asked, leaning toward the mirror of her old bedroom. Yellowing posters of Alanis Morissette, Mustang Sally, and The Smiths were peeling off the walls. She checked her makeup one last time.

  “That’s when you’re at your absolute best, chica,” Tess said. “We all know that.”

  Mac exhaled, her shoulders slumping. She didn’t feel at her best. Not even close. But she didn’t have time to analyze why. The time had come.

  Everyone at school had been talking about it for two days. Her e-mail inbox and voice mail had reached their full capacities from supporters and well-wishers. Mac was always a little amazed when grassroots efforts really worked.

  Tonight was the night, and this was the plan: Three of her students were reading the group oral presentations they had given in class the previous week. Extra credit galore for those brave souls. Then Mac was up. She hadn’t prepared much. Tess was right: sometimes she was better off the cuff.

  Oh, who was she fooling? Her mind had been so preoccupied elsewhere that she was amazed she’d managed to make it to all her classes and home fully clothed the past four days.

  Rick had called eleven times. She’d counted, but she hadn’t answered. She didn’t want to hear what he had to say, not when it had to do with Brandy.

  “Aren’t we driving back to the park?” Tess asked when they walked past Mac’s car in the parking lot.

  “I can’t show up to a preservation rally in something as barbaric as a car,” Mac pointed out.

  Tess frowned and looked down at her high heels. “I’m not wearing the proper footwear for a nature hike.”

  “Buck up,” Mac said. “My shoes are at least an inch taller than yours and you don’t hear me complaining. And it’s o
nly three blocks.”

  “Jack and Charlie are at the park setting up,” Tess said, pulling her cell out of her pocket. “I can call Jack to come get us. Or you can call Rick—”

  “No,” Mac snapped.

  Tess eyed her. “Sheesh. What gives?”

  “Nothing.” Mac gripped her purse strap and started to walk. “I could use the fresh air. That’s all. Rick is busy, anyway.” She rolled her eyes. “Brandy is coming.”

  “So they really hit it off, huh?” Tess said. “Just like you thought.”

  Mac clenched her jaw. “Just like I thought.”

  She and Tess hadn’t rehashed the weekend at the cabin yet. In fact, this was the first time they’d actually spoken in person since before Mac had left town the previous week for the teachers’ conference.

  “How’s Jeremy?” Tess asked.

  “I don’t know. Fine.” Mac squinted into the afternoon sun.

  “And?” Tess prompted, knocking her shoulder.

  “And what?”

  Tess laughed. “And how did it go over the weekend? Did he show you his snowman?”

  Mac stopped in her tracks and looked at her, her mouth hanging open. “Why Contessa Johansson-soon-to-be-Marshall. I cannot believe you just said something so vulgar.” She started walking again. “Sounds like something I would say.”

  “You’re much more vulgar than me. You would have called it his little—”

  “Never mind!” Mac cut her off as they stopped at a red light. “Jeremy is fine, and no, I did not see any part of his”—she rolled her eyes—“snowman.”

  “That’s a shame,” Tess said, wistfully.

  Mac looked at her. “I thought you considered him rather ape-like.”

  “Oh, I do. You just seem a little tightly wound at the moment. Even ape-like snowmen can help with that.”

  Mac couldn’t help laughing. “Enough with the snowmen,” she pleaded. “I’ll never be able to build one again.”

  “Will Ape-man be at the park tonight?” Tess asked.

  “Highly unlikely.”

  “Didn’t you invite him?”

  “Yes, and then I uninvited him when we were sitting on the airplane and he decided that it would be a grand idea if he put his hand up the front of my shirt.”

  “What?”

  Mac was nodding. “I know, right? We hadn’t even had our in-flight beverage service yet.”

  Tess narrowed her eyes and nodded. “I told you he was ape-like.”

  Mac groaned. “I know.”

  “Well, I’ll be there tonight,” Tess said, wrapping an arm around Mac as they neared the park. “And your family will be there, and Jack and Charlie and Rick. Everyone who loves you.”

  “Thanks,” Mac said, but she couldn’t help her thoughts getting hung up on the word love. There was an annoying, fleeting notion percolating at the back of her mind. She kept seeing Rick, but then he’d float away. When she thought she almost had a handle on it, she felt Tess stop walking.

  “Do you hear that?”

  Mac looked at her friend and then slowly turned her head in the direction of the park, less than half a block away now.

  “Come on.” Tess took her hand and started a brisk clip.

  “Too fast!” Mac complained, nearly tripping in her high heels. “Short person, here!”

  “Oh, my holy crap,” Tess said. “Mac, I bet there are three hundred people. Or more! There’s a news camera. Look, all the city council’s over there, and aren’t those Rick’s parents?”

  A wave of nerves suddenly hit. Mac’s throat went cotton dry and her tongue felt too thick for her mouth.

  Panic. Oh, no. Not now!

  “Mac?” Tess was yanking her arm. “Come on.”

  Mac swallowed, forced a smile, and walked with her best friend across the street.

  She wasn’t easily overwhelmed, but this was one exception. She’d been expecting a few dozen people to show, maybe a hundred. It was a Thursday; the Dancing with the Stars results show was going to be on soon. She did not expect a crowd like this.

  Tess led her across the grass to Lincoln Park’s main pavilion. There was a makeshift stage already set up—courtesy of Jack and Charlie—and a very modest P.A. system…meaning, a microphone attached to Tess’s karaoke machine. She saw that sitting in the corner behind a very official-looking standing mic and podium. Where had that come from?

  Friends and fellow park-lovers greeted her as she climbed the two metal stairs up to the stage. While shaking some hands, she saw Rick off to the side, standing with the other media folk about ten yards back. He was talking with one of the cameramen, but Mac noticed how often he turned to look her way. They made eye contact. He smiled, and her heart stopped.

  Maybe it wasn’t too late after all. If she could only talk to him…

  When she maneuvered herself to the side of the stage closer to him, she could see the top half of his face over some old guy’s bald spot. The moment she managed to weave around the obstruction, her stomach dropped.

  Her view of Rick wasn’t being blocked by a bald guy anymore but by Brandy. She was hugging him. And from Mac’s angle, it looked like he was hugging her back.

  “Mac? Do you want TexMex or sushi afterward? Mac?” Someone took her by the shoulders and spun her around. “Are you okay?” Tess asked.

  Mac swallowed hard and nodded.

  “Tonight is going to be so huge,” Tess said, pulling Mac into a tight hug. “I smell major success.”

  Mac sniffed and surreptitiously dabbed at her eye. “I hope so.”

  “Did you see Justine and your mom?” Tess said, pointing to some location in the crowd. “And Charlie is…well, he’s chatting up some chick now, and there’s my dad, and Rick and Brandy are over there, do you want—”

  “No!” Mac snapped. “I do not want to see Rick and…and…”

  “Oh?” Tess sounded confused at first, but then, “Oh.” Her eyes grew wide. “Ohhh. Rick?”

  “I know!” Mac sniveled, spreading her hands.

  “Since when?”

  “I don’t know.” Mac sniffed, miserably.

  “And now he’s with—” Tess cut herself off then stood in front of Mac, hands on her shoulders. “Ya know what, forget about Rick. You need to be here—now. Okay? Do your thing.”

  Mac inhaled deeply and nodded. When she tried to find Rick again, both he and Brandy were gone.

  Tess tilted her head, looking concerned. “Girl, you are really wound up. You better do something to get rid of that excess energy or…well, we both know what will happen if you try to speak in this condition.”

  Mac didn’t need the reminder. Going simultaneously blank and tongue-tied would be a total disaster, especially with such high stakes. She needed something cathartic to get her mind refocused. Maybe she needed to scream bloody murder, or punch someone. Neither were very healthy options at the moment.

  The closer the time got to when she would face the crowd, the more nervous Mac was becoming. It felt like birds were flying around in her stomach, or a hamster on a wheel, or a squirrel running in circles.

  Squirrel?

  Her stomach spun even faster.

  “Figure it out,” Tess said to her over the noise, giving her shoulders a little shake, “and you’ll do great. I have faith.”

  “Totally under control,” Mac lied, nodding briskly. If she wasn’t brave now, she would just have to fake it until she found an outlet, that one thing to get her through this.

  It was then that Mac spotted Rick again, striding right toward her, looking rather earnest.

  And suddenly, the sweetest calm washed over her.

  She needed this man.

  She needed him like she needed Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper and high heels and a soft breeze on a sunny day… Not to save her from loneliness, not to complete her. She needed him because Rick made every single part of her life better. And because she couldn’t imagine living another day without him.

  She needed him because when his arms were a
round her, she felt loved.

  When their eyes locked, Mac knew she was wearing the same expression that he was. She watched him weaving gracefully through the crowd, nearing the front.

  She felt an almost overwhelming wash of joy the nearer he came. But when he cocked a half smile, joy turned to a kind of craving.

  “Miss Simms!”

  Mac was suddenly swung around by one of her students who would be presenting an oral presentation. Her other two students were standing center stage and waving at the crowd like regular rock stars.

  “Miss Simms! Isn’t this so completely sick?”

  Mac laughed, not about to get on to her kids about improper slang. This truly was “sick.”

  “You guys ready?” she asked, doing her best to rally her troops.

  “Oh, yeah! Yes! Totally!”

  “We’re on in just a few minutes. Find your happy places…”

  Mac took a deep breath and looked out at the crowd. Seeing her friends and neighbors and fellow Franklinites lounging on blankets, sitting at the edge of the woods she loved so much, made Mac’s heart swell with a sad kind of happiness.

  Dang. This better work.

  “Mac?”

  When she heard the voice, her heart banged against her ribs. She turned around and saw Rick standing on the grass at the front of the stage.

  “Quite a crowd,” he commented as Mac moved to the edge of the stage. “How do you feel?”

  “Fine. Okay,” she said, feeling uncharacteristically timid. “Nervous.”

  “Really? Why?” He smiled and glanced over his shoulder. “With city dignitaries, news crews, and half of Franklin waiting to hang on your every word? And didn’t you tell me just the other day that you’re completely at ease speaking in front of a crowd of hundreds? So what’s there to be nervous about?”

  Mac couldn’t help laughing. “Helpful,” she said.

  “Excuse me, are you Richard Duffy?”

  They both turned to see a man wearing a backward baseball cap. He was holding a pad and pen. Typical reporter.

  “Yes,” Rick said, eyeing the guy wearily.

  “The Richard Duffy who recently donated a nineteen-sixty-five Jaguar XKE to be auctioned off, all proceeds going to the Lincoln Park fund-raising project?”