Never an Amish Bride Read online

  “I need my inhaler,” the girl said.

  Lucas sat up straight at attention while Esther rushed to her. “Having a hard time breathing?”

  She nodded.

  “Is it allergies or asthma?” Lucas asked, unable to not get involved at any mention of a medical issue, knowing he could treat either ailment at the clinic, and even more grateful they had such a valuable resource close by.

  “Allergies,” Esther said, wrapping an arm around the girl. “I’m sure it’s the goat hair. You’ll feel better when we’re outside. Lucas, this is my sister Eve; she’s been a big help with Sarah’s wedding. She makes it so much fun.”

  “Very nice to meet you,” Lucas said, smiling at the description. From what she’d mentioned to him earlier, he knew full well that Esther was not having so much fun planning her sister’s wedding.

  “Evie, this is Lucas. He’s a friend…of Eric, Vivian’s husband.”

  “Hi,” the girl said, leaning into Esther’s side.

  It was fine that she’d introduced him as Eric’s friend, and not her friend, and definitely not a runaway Amish.

  “Do you love these baby goats as much as your sister?” Lucas asked, kneeling down to pet one that had wandered over, while keeping an eye on Eve’s wheezing inhales. They didn’t sound deep enough to be asthma. She probably really did simply need to be outside and breathe some clean air.

  “They’re called kids,” Eve corrected, which made Lucas smile.

  “You’re right. My mistake.”

  “So many Englishers today,” Eve said quietly, but not too hushed that Lucas didn’t hear.

  Though she was mostly correct, something roiled in Lucas’s gut, knowing he wasn’t grouped at all with the Amish people. Not that he should be.

  “I think we’d better go,” Esther said. “Do you have a spare inhaler in the buggy? Why don’t you go get it?”

  Her sister nodded, then went out the back door.

  “Y’all leaving?” Vivian was standing under the high arch leading to the kitchen, a phone pressed to her ear.

  “Eve’s not feeling well,” Esther said. “But we had a marvelous time.”

  “Promise you’ll come back soon,” Vivian said, giving Esther a one-armed hug, still holding the phone. “And you—” She stabbed Lucas in the chest with one finger. “Bring dessert next time. You know I love your chocolate ooey-gooey butter cookies.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said, wondering which of his recorded Food Network shows had that recipe. His thoughts wandered further as he wondered if he’d turn on a TV ever again. “I promise.”

  Together, they walked toward the barn. Lucas must’ve been preoccupied to have not noticed Esther’s white mule by the gate, as well as her buggy. Eve was sitting on the top seat, using her inhaler. He watched for a moment, noticing how her breathing became slower and more even. After a few breaths, she jumped down off the buggy.

  He couldn’t help wondering the circumstances that got her that prescription. Had she been to his clinic or another medical professional?

  “Hey, I forgot to say goodbye to the kids!” Eve exclaimed. “Can I go back inside for just a minute?”

  “Sure,” Esther said, holding her sister’s chin in her hand for a few seconds. “If you’re feeling better.”

  “I am! My lungs are wide open now.” With that, she took off running toward the house.

  “Make sure you knock first!” Esther called.

  Since Eve was gone, Lucas moved his examining attention back to Esther. Her skin was clear but her blue eyes looked a little tired.

  “Can I ask you something?” he said, scratching the mule behind her ears. “You implied you’re in a bad mood. Or you were until you got here.” He nodded toward the house. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “No,” she said, the shadow under her eyes growing darker as she lowered her gaze.

  He patted the mule again. “Want to talk about it?”

  Esther breathed out, then began massaging her temples with both hands. “You know how Sarah got hurt and now I’m in charge of her wedding.”

  Lucas nodded. He’d heard a whole lot about that lately.

  “It’s been…a challenge.”

  “Why?”

  She sighed again, and Lucas wished he could go back in time and not bring up the subject if even talking about it made her frustrated.

  “I’ve married off one sister, and now Sarah’s engaged. I’ve stood as attendant to three of my girlfriends’ weddings, and I can’t even count how many cousins. It’s hard.”

  “Always a bridesmaid…” Lucas said, allowing his voice to trail off, knowing Esther wouldn’t need to hear the rest of the common saying. Then he felt sick—what a tactless thing to say. “I’m sorry,” he said, bowing his head. “Please go on.”

  “Not too long ago,” she said, “I planned my own wedding, which never happened. I know it sounds selfish, but is it fair that now I have to plan my younger sister’s?” She started picking at a spot of chipped paint on the buggy. “I’m sewing her wedding dress, and every stitch reminds me of my dress. I’m trying not to resent the whole thing, but I’m only human.”

  “You’ve mentioned your dress more than a few times. I don’t understand.”

  “Jah,” she said, blinking up at him. “It’s just hanging in my closet like a dead…purple…hay sack. What am I supposed to do with it?”

  “Wear it?”

  Her mouth fell open. “My wedding dress?”

  “Oh. Sorry.” Wrong answer.

  Hmm. Okay, she was upset about her wedding dress, and it was hanging in her closet like a dead purple hay sack. Got it.

  “It’s a reminder,” she finally said, sounding calmer after the burst of emotion. “I’m about to marry off a younger sister. And Anna is having a baby.” She sniffed. “Lou’s got a secret beau, and all I have is a dress I can’t wear.”

  “Maybe you could give it to someone,” he suggested.

  “My wedding dress?”

  Okay, okay, very wrong answer.

  “It’s a symbol,” she said.

  “Thought it was a reminder.” He couldn’t help grinning, hoping to lift the mood.

  “It’s a symbol,” she repeated, “that my life isn’t going the way it’s supposed to.”

  He slid his hands into his pockets. “Whose is?”

  For a long moment, they looked at each other; the longer the silence lasted, the more Lucas got that feeling again, the one he knew was a foolish waste of time.

  “I haven’t admitted that to anyone. Not Maam or Anna or my best friend.” Finally, Esther looked up. “I can’t believe I told you.”

  “If you want, I can tell you something I haven’t told anyone.”

  “Okay,” she said, seeming a bit more upbeat.

  Before continuing, he thought the words out in his head. “I don’t believe in fate, but do you think there’s a reason we keep running into each other? We’re both going through difficult things.” Understatement, he wanted to add. “But talking to you helps me. Helping you through your problems helps me, too. Though I don’t know why.”

  “Seems too simple.” She tilted her head to look at him. “You’re very easy to talk to and, I don’t know…it’s like I know you’ll keep everything confidential. I can tell you anything.”

  “I hope you mean that.”

  Puffy white clouds and a blue sky were Esther’s background, making her look like a painting or fancy book cover. There was something more he longed to say, but those words were not coming.

  “Okay, I’m ready now,” Eve said, climbing onto the buggy. “Can I hold the reins this time?”

  “Sure, Evie,” Esther said, but her big blue eyes were still fixed on Lucas.

  No, he did not believe in fate, nor in the ability to read minds. At that moment, he was very relieved
for that second part.

  “Danke. I guess I’ll see you later,” she said as Lucas held open her door and kept the buggy steady, dying to reach out and help her take a seat.

  “When?”

  “When what?”

  He couldn’t help smiling. “When will you see me later?”

  She smiled in return, then shot a quick glance at Eve. But she was occupied with a gray barn cat who’d jumped onto her lap.

  “Tomorrow’s pretty busy—wedding stuff.” She lifted a toothy grin that made him chuckle. The quick look they shared and held made his heart beat in his chest, and it was becoming difficult to even swallow.

  “I’ve got a full schedule, too,” he said, needing to break the silence. “What about the next day?”

  “Leah’s been waiting for my new batch of soap. Vanilla clove—extra heavy on the clove.”

  Lucas noticed the excitement that flashed in her blue eyes, but a moment later, she was chewing on her bottom lip. He wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Will you be delivering it to her?” he asked instead.

  She nodded. “Right after lunch.”

  “Maybe I’ll see you then.”

  “I’m driving,” Eve said as the mule began to pace forward.

  “Goodbye, young lady,” Lucas said, moving to stand in Eve’s eyeshot.

  “Bye,” she replied, way too focused on making the mule do a tight turn than speaking to an English stranger.

  “Bye-bye,” Esther said with a giggle.

  Lucas slid his hands in his back pockets and watched until they disappeared, well aware of the warmth of longing flooding his body. After they’d gone, he glanced up the hill behind him to see Eric tackling the back lot with his push mower. He was about to head up there to offer some help, or at least bring him a bottle of water, when he glanced at his watch.

  Shoot, I gotta get going.

  After bending the speed limit just a hair, Lucas reached home right as a big red van pulled up to the curb.

  “Brenneman?” the driver asked, meeting him in the driveway. He was consulting the iPad in his hands.

  “Yes. Lucas Brenneman.”

  After studying the electronic screen for another minute, the driver glanced up at him. “You’re canceling service?”

  “Yep.” Lucas nodded, feeling only the tiniest twinge of regret for the decision.

  “We’re removing the satellite dish?”

  “Please.”

  “Oh. Well, all right, I can make that happen.” The driver chewed on the gum in his mouth. “Mind if I ask what you’re getting instead of Dish?”

  “Nothing,” Lucas said.

  “Not even local cable? I can give you an antenna for that. Got some in my van.”

  “No, thank you,” Lucas said, leading the man toward the house. “In fact, do you happen to know anyone who might want a sixty-inch LED smart TV?”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  “It smells like a spice factory in here,” Sarah complained, fanning her face. “How much of that stuff are you using?”

  “I think it’s pleasantly subtle,” Esther said, trying not to make eye contact with her mother.

  She knew it was probably too potent, and that she could very well get into hot water over it if the bishop happened to show up. But she didn’t care. When Leah had stopped by to drop off Esther’s latest check, she said how well the stronger-scented soaps were selling.

  “I honestly can’t keep them on the shelf,” she’d said. “And the catalog will be online in a few days. Get ready for the spotlight, cousin!”

  “I’ll open a window,” Esther said to Sarah, instead of simply telling her to go outside if the smell was so distasteful.

  That morning, she’d been working on the wedding dress. Half the inside panels were done. If she wanted to keep her sanity, Esther needed to figure out how to find some kind of pleasure in the task. Yes, she was helping her sister, and the good book said Charity Never Faileth. But Esther did not feel pure charity in her heart.

  At least not yet.

  Then she’d remembered what Lucas had said before about her own wedding dress. How she should just wear it herself or give it away.

  Men, she’d thought while loading the new bobbin with heavier blue thread. They don’t understand traditions. Especially not Englishmen.

  Was Lucas really still an outsider, though? He’d mentioned to her on more than one occasion something he’d read in the Bible recently. Hadn’t he also mentioned he was praying again? He was working on his spirituality—she could feel that just as strongly now as when they’d been together at Vivian’s, when they’d been so easy and comfortable with each other, almost like they were best friends.

  Best friends, but more… Esther couldn’t help thinking, knowing she was kidding herself every time she denied that being around Lucas made her feel soft, and pretty, and warm all the way down to her toes.

  Lucas had also spoken so tenderly about Jacob and how strong his faith had been.

  During those conversations, Lucas certainly hadn’t sounded non-Amish.

  Esther knew in her heart that if he’d just reach out to someone in his family—okay, maybe not his father, at least not at first—but if he would make a tiny effort, she knew it would pay off, for she knew how much joy being with family could bring.

  Well, most of the time…

  “I’m going out later, if it’s okay,” Esther said while tying the last purple ribbon on a soap wrapper. “I don’t need the buggy.”

  “Are you meeting him?” Eve asked.

  Esther whipped around to her little sister, finding Evie grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary.

  “Him who?” Sarah asked, helping Maam fold clothes she’d just pulled off the line.

  “The Englisher from the goat farm. They were talking.”

  “It’s no one,” Esther said, waving a hand dismissively. “Don’t know what she’s talking about.”

  “Him, who?” Sarah repeated, this time directed at Eve.

  “Um…his name was…it started with an L… Luh-luh…Levi!”

  “Levi.” Sarah frowned. “You don’t mean Levi Sutter?” She pointed at Esther. “Levi Sutter is Lou’s beau, or he practically is. She’s your best friend! And he’s not an Englisher.”

  “He’s not her official beau,” Esther replied, realizing too late that was the dumbest thing to say. Then again, it was better than telling them the correct name.

  So I ran into Lucas Brenneman, she imagined herself saying nonchalantly. I’ve actually met with him four times, once at his house. Alone. I’m sure everyone’s okay with that…

  “Esther, I can’t believe you’re stealing another girl’s boyfriend,” Sarah said. “What if Lou thinks he’s going to propose?”

  “I don’t”—she was at a complete loss for words—“know what to say.”

  “Well, it’s shameful, Esther.” Sarah snapped a towel in the air. “And just a few weeks before wedding season begins. What sort of example are you setting?”

  “Maybe it was Leo?” Eve said. “I’m not good with names.”

  “Hmm.” Sarah planted her hands on her hips. “Wonder which innocent woman Esther stole that boy from.”

  “I’m taking these boxes to Leah,” Esther said to her mother while her two younger sisters continued their squabble over L names.

  “Don’t be home too late,” her maam said. “Your heavy cloak is by the door.”

  “Thank you.”

  Just as before, her mother was letting her leave—assuming she would be home after dark—without knowing where she was going. Wouldn’t Maam try to stop her if she really thought she was off to meet a mystery man? Or did she think Esther was part of some secret book club or sewing bee? Or maybe a budding author like in Little Women?

  As she walked down the lane, she wondered what Lucas had
planned for them today. She got excited thinking they might go back to Vivian’s to play with the goats…but they’d been there two days ago. Surely he had a different plan for them.

  They’d been at his house once, so maybe it was her turn to come up with something to do. As she stopped to watch a flock of blackbirds pick at something across the road, her gaze couldn’t help drifting farther up the path, then picturing what was around the corner.

  Suddenly, she knew exactly what she was going to do. And stubborn old Lucas would play along whether he liked it or not. It would take one little pit stop along her way into town. Just a few short minutes would set her plan in motion.

  As she turned to cut through a field, Esther couldn’t help grinning to herself. After all, wasn’t there a quote about how serving others in need makes your own worries and troubles go away?

  She could definitely use some of that today.

  After another lecture from Leah about how Esther should be making soap full-time now—which she did not need to hear—Esther sat at a little table just inside Yoder’s Home Goods so she could watch for Lucas out the window.

  It didn’t take long before she saw him step out of the clinic and lean against the door. No white lab coat, just black pants again and a dark gray sweater. If he let his hair grow out, then cut it in the bowl style, he’d almost look—

  She jumped when Lucas tapped on the glass right in front of her face. He waved and laughed, mimicking how she’d jumped. Esther couldn’t help giggling, then glanced behind her to see if Leah, or any of the Amish customers, had noticed.

  “Hi,” he said, entering the store. “Is this all right?” He must’ve seen the worry on her face after he’d come in. “Do you not want to…”

  “Nay, it’s fine.” She bit her bottom lip. “Um, Lucas, I wonder if you’d run an errand with me.”

  He lifted his eyebrows. “Sure. Where to?”

  “I borrowed a book from a friend and, wouldn’t you know it, I’ve already read the silly thing. I’d like to return it.”